I love Armor All.  I love how quickly it revives plastic.  It gives new life, new shine and pretty much is my favorite thing today.  I cleaned our strollers today and they look like new (minus the food crusted on the seat! :)  )

What if there was a spray for your face that made your face look brand new?  How about one for your thighs?  That would be some good stuff!

I’m armed with Armor All and I’m looking for things to spray!  Look out.

This one is going out to one special sister and one fantastic little girl who starts kindergarten tomorrow… They’re not our pictures, but the sentiment is universal.

Do you have a rug around your toilet?  Apparently it is a bad thing.  I think it keeps the toilet cozy and keeps my toes warm, but apparently they are out.  After watching HGTV’s 25 Biggest Decorating Mistakes, it looks like I need to reevaluate my home’s decor.

My husband was laughing at me for taking action so quickly after watching the show (those rugs are gone today!), but I assume they know what they’re talking, so I’m going to listen.

I am going to own up to about 11 of these, but I’m probably guilty of more of them. (Note: if you go to HGTV, you can get more information on each issue).

#25: Toilet Rugs

#24: Too Many Photos

#23: Ignoring the Foyer

#22: Undressed Cables

#21: Out-of-Place Themes

#20: Outdated Accessories

#19: Lopsided Furniture Arrangements

#18: Keeping Something You Hate

#17: Too Formal

#16: Uncomfortable Dining Chairs

#15: Lack of Traffic Pattern

#15: Lack of Traffic Pattern

#14: Everything Matches

#13: Following Fads

#12: Furniture That Doesn’t Fit

#11: Too Many Colors or Patterns

#10: Floating Rugs

#9: Improper Lighting

#8: Frames Hung Too High

#7: Tacky Couch Covers

#7: Tacky Couch Covers

#6: Pushed–Back Furniture

#6: Pushed–Back Furniture

#5: Ignoring Windows

#4: Fear of Color

#3: Knickknack Overload

#2: Too Many Pillows

#1: Fake Flowers

Dear Cookie Maker:

Today I bought a bag of your cookies.  I bought them because my child noticed that Dora was on the bag.  His thinking is, “If Dora is on the bag, it must be great.  I don’t even know if it’s food or toys or insecticide.  I just know that I love Dora, so I love this bag.”

So, being the good Mom that I am, I bought the cookies.  It generally makes the entire shopping trip a little more fun for me if the kids are happy.

Here’s my issue.  Dora is on the bag, but the cookies are actually shaped like Dora, Swiper, Map, Backpack, and of course Boots.  My son being the knowledgeable 3 year that he is now asks not just for cookies, but specific shapes of cookies.  For example, “Thanks for the cookies, Mom, but I don’t have Backpack and I have 2 Maps.  I need BACKPACK!!!”

This turns an enjoyable cookie break into another struggle for us.  I don’t really need another struggle.  Here is my suggestion:  If Dora is on the bag, just give us Dora cookies.  My kids don’t need options.  They don’t really need cookies, for that matter, but a little help from you would be great.

Thanks,

Cookie Monster’s Mommy

• Gardening and hot showers are like therapy for me.
• Why must they start the interesting sports so late (i.e. gymnastics)?  I’m exhausted.
• Whenever I find myself speeding, I automatically start thinking of an excuse/reason in case I get pulled over by a cop.  I have never actually gotten a ticket… I guess I just have extreme paranoia when it comes to traffic violations.
• It seems like UPS is a lot faster than FedEx.  Their online updates seem better, too.  I’m waiting for our new crib to arrive and it is taking FOREVER!
• Here’s a quiz for anyone interested…

1. Name 5 Nick Jr. shows
2. What is Diego’s sister’s name?
3. What animals are seen frolicking on the hills in Teletubby land?
4. Did the monkey mail come?
5. What is Super Why’s real name?
6. How do you get in the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse?
7. What animal starts every Baby Einstein DVD?
8. Name all of the Backyardigans

I used to be smart.  I used to know important things.  Now, this is the crap I know.  Living the dream!!!

Do you have this happen to you, too?  I am walking through the grocery store/Wal-Mart, etc. and end up having to maneuver around another shopper.  Insert awkward “excuse me” comment.  I move on to other aisles only to run into the SAME shopper over and over again!  It’s like we’re cosmically connected shoppers.  I hate it.

This is ridiculous… If you have to litmus test your breast milk, you probably shouldn’t be giving it to your baby.

From their website:

What is Milkscreen

milkscreen is a simple, two minute test to detect alcohol in breast milk. milkscreen lets Mom know the volume of alcohol concentrated in her breast milk.

Why use milkscreen?

Because all mothers are unique! So, naturally the way our bodies process alcohol is unique, too. Metabolizing alcohol depends on several factors including:

• Body weight
• Type of alcohol consumed
• Food intake

In the past, there were only generalized guidelines for the questions surrounding breastfeeding after consuming alcohol. Now, with milkscreen, there is one simple and accurate method to let Mom know if her milk contains a level of alcohol that may negatively impact Baby.

Why was milkscreen created?

milkscreen was created to help extend the life of breastfeeding. Maternal self-confidence is critical to maintaining breastfeeding so we created milkscreen to help give mom the peace of mind that her breast milk does not contain a level of alcohol that may negatively impact Baby.

Potty chair: Baby Bjorn

Pet Accessory: Petmate water fountain

Song lyrics:”I’m the lyrical Jesse James.”

“I’d rather live in his world, than without him in mine.”

“Do you do more than dance?”

“She knows just what it takes to make a pro blush”

“There’s an awful lot of breathing room, but I can hardly move. ”

***Bonus if you can name the songs!